Sunday, January 8, 2012

New Beginnings..

Happy New Year, everyone!!

I hope the first week of 2012 has greeted you all with blessings. It's hard to believe that another year has gone by, and of course 2011 had it's fair share of events for us. A quick run down: We found out we were expecting on New Years Eve of 2010: what a great way to ring in a new year. January brought Robert's second deployment & our move home to Ohio. March brought our 3rd wedding anniversary & my graduation with my AA degree in Psych. In April, we found out we were having another son. In June, our precious Goober turned two. July brought us back from Ohio and into a new apartment in VA & I welcomed my love back home. In September, I brought a beautiful baby boy into this world and our family went from 3 to 4. In October I turned 24. In November, a loved one went to meet the Lord; my mom's boyfriend passed away. December came..and we got to spend Christmas with our families for the first time in three years.
What a whirlwind..mostly wonderful..partly sad, definitely trying. But we've made it to 2012. And this year, well the world is supposed to end, right? Lol. So I guess we better make it a good one.

Resolutions. Most everyone makes them, but very little people keep them. This year I've made six. And they aren't my typical "lose weight" kind of resolutions..(although, yes, that is one) lol. But this year, I want to make some important changes, not just set goals I'm not really sure I can or even really want to meet.

1. Get Closer. 
To everyone. I want to make my relationship with God better. I want to make church a priority, pray more often, talk about God with friends and family. I want to make Him a bigger part of my life. I want to get closer with my husband & my boys. I want to be a better wife, mom, sister, daughter, niece, cousin, friend. I'm not saying I'm a bad one now. But I could make more of an effort in every relationship.

2. Get Healthier.
I don't want to say "lose ___ pounds by ___". Because honestly, how often does that work? I don't want to set myself up for failure. I'd love to lose some weight. But right now, focusing on myself is pretty difficult. I can't make that commitment. But I can commitment to try to make better decisions and try to become more active. I want to cut down on fast food..meal plan & cook healthier at home. Model good eating habits for my boys. Spend more time outside. Chase after Xander. Take more walks. And choose working out in my spare hour rather than catching up on Teen Mom.

3. Unplug.
Spend more time away from the things that distract me. Nothing wrong with catching up on Plurk or Facebook. Nothing wrong with blogging (obviously lol). But sometimes, I feel I get sucked in. I start to cruise the web for a few minutes and a few minutes turns into an hour. That hour could be spent much more productively. 

4. Be More Financially Savvy
I want to not only make ends meet, but to save as well. I want to coupon meal make a budget & stick with it. I want to pay off some debt..and make cuts where possible. At the end of 2012, I want to look back and know where our money went and be content with it.

5. Be Creative
I don't have a lot of time to do extras..but I really want to start when I can. I want to be more organized. I want to be more crafty. I want to spend time on my scrapbooking & my writing. If I can just cut out a couple hours a week to do these things, I feel like I can get things around here in better shape while at the same time, exercising my brain & focusing on things that I really love.

6. Live In The Now
I want to be more appreciative for  the things I have right this moment. I want to quit beating myself up because I'm not living up to some silent standard I set for myself at 16. I'm beyond blessed & beyond happy with my life. At 24, I have all the things that I've always said were the most important things in life. I'm 24..and already there. So why be upset about anything? Sometimes I get so down on myself. I compare myself to others, and I find myself being jealous. I find myself being jealous of even my own husband. I think He gets to have it all. Our happy family AND a career. The ability to further his education whenever, where ever, and however he pleases. Don't get me wrong, I am MORE than happy that he takes care of us & that he goes out and works so that I don't have to. But sometimes I feel like I'm in a competition that I'm losing. I'm the person who, in high school, had so much potential. I was supposed to go to OSU and get not only my Bachelor's, but my Master's and possibly my PhD. By now, I should be beginning a great career. And when I made those plans, I always knew that first and foremost I wanted to be a wife & a mother. And I also knew that choosing one meant holding off on the other. I made my choice and I wouldn't change it for the world. But, I often feel like I've let people down, including myself. So maybe I haven't worked in three years. Maybe I only have my Associate's degree. Maybe I got that degree online..and maybe the school I got it from is a joke to some people. But, I do work hard every day. I do have a purpose. I do have a degree that I worked my butt of for. And no matter what others may think about where/how I got that degree, I know it wasn't a breeze. I know that degree means something. And it's a step toward the education I want.
I may not have the education or career I thought I would at this point. I may be just a stay-at-home mom. But I have the best from my husband and two precious boys. Gifts that will last a lifetime. Gifts people would die for. When my kids are bigger, and I'm back to work, I'm going to wish they were little and I was back home with them. So I'm resolving to quit living in the past or the future..and start living completely in the now. One day I'll have that degree and that good-paying job, and when I do, my most important purpose will still be being everything & anything my family needs me to be.

And there you have it. My resolutions for 2012. I hope that when the door to 2013 opens, I can look back on 2012 and know that I made it the best it could be..I can close that door and walk into 2013 with my head held high and a smile on my face. And isn't that what it's really all about? Resolutions or not, make it a good one!

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